"Be Different"
be different and stand out
don't be afraid of doubt
don't cry because they laugh
think about ripping there bodies in half
no yourself and be that
don't worry if someone calls you fat
take drugs get high
don't worry if you die
worship satan not god again
don't worry about sin
satan cares about us
he don't care if we make a fuss
cut your wrists and watch it drip
pierce your blood soaked lip
kill now and ask later
who cares if someone calls you a hater
you were meant to kill
your weren't meant to sit still
show them the blood you love to suck
don't worry no one gives a fuck
let everything you have go
just let satan no
"no one cares"
no one cares where i was
no one cares about what he does
he takes my heart and stomps on it
but when i try and hurt him back everyone
has a fit
i can't believe he is supposed to be my father
i'm the one he likes to bother
everything i do is so wrong to dear old daddy
him and his family are so caddy
just because i'm a freak
they thinks i'm weak
but i can fight just as strong
and i can run just as long
daddy's not gonna win today
i'm gonna make him pay
for all the wrong he did to me
i'm gonna make him see
everything that is wrong today and tomorrow
all my pain and sorrow
is his fault
and i won't listen even if he is an adult
all the cuts are because of his shit
i swear this is it
"Daddy"
Daddy do you care
Daddy are you there
Daddy do you love me
Daddy can't you see
Daddy i don't want this pain
Daddy your making me insane
Daddy you caused my cuts and hurt
Daddy i still feel like dirt
Daddy i liked lowell
Daddy what you said was bull
Daddy he was a nice gay
Daddy it's not like you never got high
Daddy my friend died
Daddy you laughted when i cried
Daddy lowell wasn't ready to go
Daddy did you care though
Daddy you scarred me
Daddy you still don't see
Daddy i'm still dead inside
Dady your why i cried
Daddy screw you
Daddy there is nothing you can do
Daddy why do you hate me
Daddy are you to blind to see
Daddy i wanted you near
Daddy i just wanted you to care
"Unknown Death"
No one seems to notice me
It's like no one can see
I walk by and no one turns around
It's like no one can hear my sound
Then to my surprise someone walks through
me
but i don't understand how can this be
Then i look in a store window to see
is i can see my face
but there walked someone in my faces
place
Then in a flash i was back at the grave
that underground cave
i wondered why my friends were there
i wondered why they would care
then why i look at the grave i cried
i was the one who died
i guess that suicidal night took it's tole
I guess i lost my soul
"preppy slut"
Stupid whores
infect my suicidal sores
brain died preppy sluts
all they can do is suck on nuts
they talk shit like they no
but all they no is now to be a hoe
"look at her lip" is what they say
fuck them all they'll pay
i kill them all
i make then cry out in pain before they fall
"remember this day"
rushing through the hospital door
on a big white bed i don't care anymore
i finally lost control
everything was gone even my soul
i took those pills
for cheap thrills
and then when i slit my wrists
i was just a little pissed
but when i finally tied the rope
i was ready to go b/c i just couldn't cope
then my stupid ass parents brought me here
was my plan not clear
i just wanted to be left alone
then i hear a noise i think it's the phone
no wait it's the machine's hooked up 2 me
i'm flat lining yes i'm finally free
i see the light as a slip away
all i can say is remember this day
"lost and alone"
Lost and alone
dead and unknown
tears of sadness
praying for his kiss
nothing left inside
but you haven't died
sitting still
running from the pill
begging to be normal
hating all the doctors who are being so formal
years of pain
thoughts of going insane
never knowing who you are
wondering why happiness is so far
letting everything go
for a love you'll never no
nothing will ever be okay
never listen to a word you say
so scared to be alone
listen to your friend cry on the phone
unknown fears
cloud of tears
nightmares
loud scares
knowing who you want to be
and waiting to be set free
"lowell"
i miss my friend
the one who was there till summers end
he was sweet when he was alone
melissa would tell me about there talks on the phone
i miss him more everydaaay
i don't understand why he had to pay
i would die if he could comeback
he could have the life i lack
i have no friends to miss me
but lowell has many
he was so happy and fun
i can't believe his life is done
i wonder if he knows
that everytime a day goes
by i miss him more
i'll never forget the last time he walked out the
door
I miss my friend
The one whos life should have never come to an end
"Red eyes"
no one sees her eyes are red
from crying herself to bed
no one sees the cuts on her wrists
and now shes starting to get a little pissed
no one sees the rope tied to her fan
but she don't care she has a plan
no one sees her take the pills
that give her the cheap thrills
no one sees her anymore
because they choose to call her a whore
"slice and dice"
loos at my arms, legs and wrists
i slice and dice whenever i get pissed
no one seems to notice or even care
when i pull out my blade and my skin starts to tear
look at my cuts they tell a story
everytime i get called stupid, useless or whory
i just cut away at the pain
every cut makes ne insane
i guess i have nothing left inside
after all my cuts i finally died
"no one"
No one seems to notice
or even seems to care
it's like no one can see me
but yet they all stare
I'm dead inside and out
even though my heart still has a beat
i wish i knew what this life is about
and why are eyes never met
I have nothing left to live for
all my pain is deep inside
for always being called a whore
and listening to all the things you lied
"slowly dying"
slowly dying inside
cause that's were i hide
going sane in a crazy place
looking at the blood dripping from my face
losing touch with myself again
because my bodies full of sin
letting go but never moving away
suicide is how i pay
crazy little girl
i'm likee an unpolished pearl
no where left to go
no one left that i no
"Death"
Death surrouns my bleeding soul
as i think about lowell
i can't go on with all this pain
one day it will drive me sane
everyone points a finger of suicidal blame
everyone is the same
i'm just a suicidal slut
that's why i love to cut
nothing left to do now
so i think about killing myself,but how
"you and me"
I just want it to be
you and me
but i'm getting scared
afraid because you have always cared
I no you love me
but my heart is breaking can't you see
my eyes are blood shot red
i'm staring at my ceiling just lyin in bed
i don't no what to say or do
there is so much we have been through
my "i love yous" are meaningless
i don't even wanna give you a kiss
what am i supposed to do
how much more can i do to you
"wisphers so loud"
wisphers so loud
screams so quiet
i sit back
and look with caution
i'm dead to the world
yet alive to the dead
scared to move
still i run around
i hate the sun
but i welcome it with opened arms
i love blood
but cry when it comes out
pain is here
pain is gone
love is fake
still they call it real
i hate my father
yet am mad to love
so strange
but still normal
"twisted"
twisted thoughts and insane ramblings
of a twisted girl without a family
no one t oove
because no on is here
no one is alive
there all dead
everyone is just there
inside there twisted head
voices talk to this twisted girl
who wants a real friend
with a tear in her eyes
she lets out a cry
never to let go
of her sick,twisted,painful soul
"stupid"
stupid tears
cried because of stupid fears
to much pain
forced from going insane
so much hate
grown from my suicidal fate
my bloodshot eyes
shows the pain of my insides
slashed wrists
hands form fists
blood soaks my arm
blood caused by suicidal harm
pain that no one can see
seems to overtake me
how my life is slowly ending
because my soul is just not mending
with that last stab in the back
i given in to the suicidal thoughts that i don't lack
when i use that big knife
i hope it will end my life
"ben"
locked away in this cage
trying to keep in my rage
but i can't handle it
i just don't fit
i need to be all alone
don't fucking call my phone
you leave me all to sad
and get my all to mad
i just want to make it through
i just want to make it past you
do you care tho
i no you no
about all my tears
all my fears
afraid your gonna leave me
afraid i'll never see
you ever again
your why i hate men
ok so i love you
what am i gonna do
"rape my mind"
what gave you the right
i put up a fight
i screamed no
i wasn't being a hoe
i didn't want you in me
i wanted to keep my virginity
i wanted to wait for my wedding night
i wanted it to happen right
not just at some party on some day
i wanted it to happen at a speical time and way
i was supposed to be in love
with someone sent from above
but instead i just have you
and all the shit you put me through
"cut away"
the pain just took over that night
and i could put up a fight
i had no choice but to cut
i want to stop but
no one seems t ocare
life isn't fair
i have to let go
i can't let anyone no
my mind is wasting away
and i have to pay
for all my sin
yet again
"O.D"
bleeding hearts attack me
blood you can see clearly
cuts that are infected with pus
everyone's making a a mother fucking fuss
b/c all i think about is you
and all the shit i have been through
cut my veins in time for you to see
the pain you have caused me
the blood will rush out
and i doubt
that you will even care
or even be there
your all i need in my life
if i have you i don't need this knife
but i use it cause you hurt me
and i couldn't see
that i'm gonna be okay
i don't care what u say
